


A Spot of Bother

by ottermo



Category: Humans (TV)
Genre: Brainless Drivel, Crack, F/M, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-08-30
Packaged: 2018-04-18 02:10:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4688531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ottermo/pseuds/ottermo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Well, you've got chicken pox," she informs him. "You can thank Soph later for that little present."</p>
<p>Pure, brainless crack - read at your own risk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Spot of Bother

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PlumeBluue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlumeBluue/gifts).



> Oh my, this is almost too cringey to upload and I'm so sorry in advance xD   
> I wrote this to amuse myself while chapter 15 of In Touch was driving me insane. You're about to see just _how_ insane.   
>  I don't really know when this is set, but we'll say it's an AU because Niska is inexplicably still around and for some reason everyone is a soppy lunatic.  
> Oh, and I have taken liberties with medical science, probably.   
> Enjoy?

  


One of the side effects of joining the civilised world aged twenty-one is the fact that it leaves you almost totally unable to deal with its germs.

Or, depending on your point of view, _very_ able to deal with them. In the most interactive way possible. On their second stay at the Hawkins family home, it had taken Leo approximately thirty-four hours to interact very thoroughly with Sophie's germs, and come down with the same illness she's been incubating for days. 

"I'm so sorry," Laura is saying to Mia, leaning on the kitchen counter with one arm, the other hand gesturing at the sleeping form of her friend's son. "I never even thought... I'd have made sure she stayed away from him, but I just assumed he'd already had it. Most people have done chicken pox by the time they're six or so, even with the vaccine." 

"Don't worry, it wasn't your fault," Mia tells her calmly. "I'm the one who should be sorry, he's...he's not a very good patient. As soon as we can move on..."

Laura's eyebrows shoot up in alarm. "No, no, you're staying as long as you can -- as long as you want to, I mean. I'm definitely not going to turf you all out after we've diseased your child." 

Mia smiles. 

"I mean...not your _child_ , obviously..."

They both look at Leo, who is curled up on the sofa in the most awkward way possible, since before falling asleep he had not cared to check that the sofa was unoccupied. Mattie gives the two women a thumbs up, then returns to her laptop, which is balanced on the arm of the sofa. Somehow she's still managing to type, even though her elbow is having to dodge Leo's face the entire time. As it turns out, it's quite difficult to write code without elbowing a person in the ear, when they happen to fall asleep across your lap. 

"I think you would be forgiven for mistaking him for a child at the moment," Mia says, thoughtfully. 

"Yes. Funny," Laura muses, "If it wasn't for the beard." She chuckles. "I wish Joe could look that pitiful when he's ill, it would be so much easier to feel sorry for him." 

Mattie rolls her eyes. "Dad doesn't get normal-people ill, it's always just man flu." 

Mia frowns at the unfamiliar phrase. She runs an Internet search to check on its usage. "Ah," she says afterwards, "Actually you might find Leo is very similar. He wasn't ill very often as a child because he never played with other children, but whenever it happened it was always the end of the world." She crosses from the kitchen area to perch on the arm of the chair nearest the sofa. "Mattie, don't feel you have to stay there. Just wake him up if you need to move."

Mattie shrugs, not taking her eyes of the screen. "He's all right for the moment."

"Are you sure? It can't be very comfortable." 

"No, well. I don't mind. When you're the oldest of three you sort of get used to ill people flopping on you every now and then." 

"But Sophie and Toby are both smaller than you--" 

Mattie taps her screen. "Once I've finished with this I'll move him." 

This seems to satisfy Mia. 

"I'd better go and rescue Niska from Sophie," Laura says a few moments later. "It's nearly her bedtime, anyway." 

Sophie has left the drowsy-and-clingy stage of the illness behind by now, and is enjoying having the energy to jump around again. Faint thumping noises come from upstairs every few minutes or so, to illustrate the point. 

Laura disappears upstairs, leaving Mia still watching Mattie and Leo. 

"There's popcorn in one of cupboards," Mattie says dryly, glancing across at her. "If you want to complete the cinematic experience." 

"I don't require-- oh, I see what you mean." Mia shakes her head. "Sorry. I didn't mean to stare."

"And yet," Mattie completes the task she's been working on, and shuts her laptop. "You still are." 

"I'm just not used to him needing anybody but me, when he's like this." 

Mattie frowns and looks at Mia properly. "Um, I don't think my role here has anything to do with him needing me. I am a cushion that didn't move out of the way fast enough, basically." 

Mia stands up from the arm, and sits properly in the chair, her hands linked together on her knees. "He trusts you, though." 

"I think you're underestimating the power of chicken pox. He's going to be falling asleep all over the place for a few days. Regardless of whether or not he trusts the people who happen to be sitting where he's planning to be sleeping." 

"Shall I wake him up now? If you've finished?" Mia looks pointedly at Mattie's closed laptop. 

"Mmm, go on then," says Mattie, not sounding particularly bothered either way. She waits as Mia gently wakes Leo, who blinks around at the world in general in surprise. 

"Morning," Mattie says wryly. 

"Have I been--"

"Mmm, yep. Just don't think about it. Pretend it never happened, so we can look each other in the eye tomorrow." 

Leo groans. He's now sitting up and has scooted as far away from her as possible, as if this will undo the fact that he'd been sprawled all over her just moments before. "Sorry. Dunno why I was so tired." 

"Well, you've got chicken pox," she informs him. "You can thank Soph later for that little present." 

Mattie gets up to unplug the charger for her laptop, bundling it under one arm, really to take upstairs. 

"I thought only children got chicken pox," Leo says drowsily.

"You were never exposed to the virus," Mia says gently. "And usually the strain that occurs in adults is called shingles, but Nis did a proper check, and we think you do actually have ordinary chicken pox." 

"Maybe 'cause you're biologically what, like seven and a half," Mattie says, thinking out loud. She balks slightly at their twin surprised looks. "Erm. Or something more tactful." 

"Your theory might explain it, though," Mia says thoughtfully. "Maybe there was an element of biological resetting..." 

"It's not as if there are other cases to compare it to, but I'd say it's at least possible," Mattie agrees. 

"Can you at least wait til I'm asleep again," Leo laments, "before you start talking about me like a lab rat or something." 

"Sorry, lion cub," Mia says quickly.

Mattie can't help spluttering in laughter. "Oh my God. Somebody please warn me before you start dropping pet names. I wasn't prepared." 

She has a feeling Leo would look more mortified at Mia's slip if he didn't also look so very exhausted.

Before anyone can add any Lion-King-related comments (and Mattie swears she isn't mentally singing "Just Can't Wait To Be King". She _isn't_ ), Sophie comes tumbling down the stairs, in all her chicken-poxed glory. 

"One hundred and seventy two!" 

"Aren't you s'posed to be in bed?" Mattie asks. 

"I'm going up now! But mum said I could come down for my milk and to tell you one hundred and seventy two!" 

Mattie just waits for the explanation to come. 

"Spots! Niska used Clever Maths. She counted the ones on my face and then worked out how many I must have altogether because of maths." 

"Niska knows how to have fun," Mattie remarks. 

Sophie whizzes over to the kitchen, and Mia follows, the instinct kicking in to protect the house from the effects of the Clever Maths equation "Sophie + bottle of milk". 

Leo has fallen asleep again, Mattie notices. Amazing, considering the flurry of noise that just entered in the shape of her sister. Absent-mindedly she rearranges the cushion behind his head. 

The bespotted Sophie leads Mia back up the stairs, promising she _will_ stop scratching the pox if Mia reads her two stories instead of just one. Mattie doesn't hear whether or not Mia agrees to the deal. 

She glances down at Leo again, and then at the laptop which is still in the crook of her arm. "Well, night then, sleeping beauty," she mutters. It feels a little bit pointless staying downstairs when floor's only other occupant is fast asleep. 

...or maybe not. Because there comes a mumbled reply: "warn me...before pet names. Not prepared." 

She grins. "Oh. Thought you were sleeping. But I wouldn't complain if I were you, you've got two days left looking like that, and then you'll be transformed into a pox monster like Soph. No-one will be calling you 'beauty' then." 

"Can't wait." 

Mattie slips away when his breathing evens out again. Definitely asleep this time. 

And on her way up the stairs, she does not stop herself from singing under her breath, _I'm gonna be a mighty king, so enemies beware..._

The next line may need adjustment. 


End file.
